Before I go into the dream, I need to get this off my chest...I feel like I'm gonna explode soon. And the worst part is that it is completely UNNECESSARY!
This afternoon, I watched a video posted by a student in my former school. The beginning of the video was a little random. It had nothing to do with the main aim of the video but that was actually what caught my eye and put me in this shocked state.
And like I said it doesn't make sense.
I saw my....well, formerfriendwithbenefits. There, I said it. Nothing to be ashamed of. But there was this...gIrl....sitting on his lap in the video.
And that made me mad. Can you imagine?? urgh!!!!!!
I feel so angry right now!
with me-for being a dumb mofo...whats my business with what he does? Afterall I ended what we had 'cause it didnt make sense to keep the poor boy on lockdown when it wasn't a relationship,especially since I was going away....
with him- for leaning over the girl and doing that playful thing he used to do with me, with her!
with myself again-for noticing that...
with the stupid girl-for sitting on his lap,...for goodness sake there were chairs all over the bloody room!!!
Like I know I shouldn't even be bothered, trust me I know. I give that sort of advice to my friends. But why they heck is this bothering me so bad?
I mean, I know we've been through a lot. I'm so used to him, I could spot him in crowd of 10000 Nigerians....scratch that...10 million! I even know his style of dressing. That's how I spotted him in the video at first.But thats no reason for me to care!
...or maybe its because he promised to come to my crib for thanksgiving...and he wasnt coming to take math lessons....darn I hate myself right now!
Anyways, now to saner issues.
I've never lived in boarding school before. That was one of the arguments I used to convince my father to let me stay off campus. I told him that if I had never lived like that before, then it wouldnt make sense for me to live there now at the most critical time of my life.
Yes o, that's what I said about first year uni...little did I know how right I was.
Well, last night, I dreamt that my father sent me to my villa to school! As in, seriously, my villa in anambra state. It didnt look like it, but you know how in a dream you just know where you are even if it doesn't look like it.
I step into the house. It was very quiet. There were some very ugly looking beds all over the house-upstairs and downstairs. Somehow, I knew that it was the residense where I was going to live. After a while, some girls came in. They kinda acted hostile towards me, but I didnt understand that at the time.
Then my dad called me outside so I excused myself and I walked out to answer him. And the girls started saying things like 'go, you cant stay here'. I actually thought they were being nice and understood that I wouldnt fit in with them, but then I realised that they were saying it spitefully.
Thats all I can remember though. Does that make any sense to anyone?
I think I know why little video incident bothered me so much.
A few days after he said he was coming for thanksgiving, we were talking and he sent me a song. I was so touched that I was gonna blog about it. It describes almost everything we've gone through. I was too busy though....but I guess that's what I get for not blogging about stuff.
Sue me for not knowing how to upload a darn video!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3PMV6aBYlg&feature=related...anyhoo after i saw the video he said 'dont let me go'...
Now that I think about it, maybe I'm just vexing for no reason...she was just sitting on his leg right?...
That just pissed me off again.